if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Life is so much better after having sex.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Randomize
