hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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