i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Randomize
