idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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