Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
