Where is the hickey?
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Randomize
