I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
