oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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