Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
