operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
