He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
