Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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