No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Don't tell me you're on acid again
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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