Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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