Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
