so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
