Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
