I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
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