you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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