yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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