I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
