just come out here and I will go home with you...
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Randomize
