So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
