:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Randomize
