So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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