brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
