So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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