his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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