Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
