Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
We're too hungover to prance.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
