Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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