No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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