All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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