I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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