we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
