yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Randomize
