you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
