We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
