I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
