u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
