I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize