So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
