There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize