have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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