im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
