just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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