you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Randomize
