i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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