I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
