Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
