Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
