Rock
Scissors
Fuck
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
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