I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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