I would go down on you faster than GM stock
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
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