I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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