Whoa Z and x make the same sound
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
