I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
