do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
