I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
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