Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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