jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
