he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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